dear foca

dear foca, i honestly don't really know where to start with this, which is kinda funny because i could probably sit here for ages just typing random stuff and somehow still feel like i haven't said enough. there's just a lot to say, and i mean a lot, and most of it is probably going to sound incredibly cheesy, but whatever, i already started so we're committing to this now.

i guess i just wanted to make this little place because sometimes saying things normally feels weird, like you have something in your head and you know exactly what you mean but the second you try putting it into actual words it suddenly sounds completely different. so instead i'm just going to ramble here for a while, which honestly feels much more accurate anyway.

you genuinely mean a lot to me, and i know that sounds simple, almost too simple, but i don't really know how else to put it. there are people you meet and then there are people who somehow become part of your everyday thoughts without you even noticing it happening. you just become used to them being there, and then you realize that their presence actually matters way more than you thought.

i like the random conversations, the stupid jokes, the moments where neither of us really knows what we're talking about anymore, and even the completely pointless things that somehow become memorable. it's weird how the smallest things can stick with you for so long. sometimes it's literally just one sentence or one random moment and somehow your brain decides that's going into the permanent archive.

and honestly, i appreciate you more than i probably manage to show. sometimes i might not say anything about it, sometimes i might act completely normal, sometimes i'm just sitting there thinking about something completely unrelated and then randomly remembering something you said. that's just how it is, i guess. human brains are apparently designed to store the most random things forever while forgetting why they walked into a room.

i hope you know that you don't have to constantly do something impressive or say something perfect or somehow make every moment meaningful. you being yourself is already enough. genuinely. you don't need to perform or prove anything just to deserve being appreciated, because you already are.

anyway, this is getting long, which was obviously inevitable because apparently i have no ability to stop writing once i start. but i wanted there to be something here that you could come back to whenever you felt like it, something simple and pink and probably a little embarrassing, but still real.

this is for you. there's not some massive complicated reason behind every word here. i just wanted to make something that exists because you exist, which sounds dramatic when i type it out like that, but honestly, i don't really care.

thank you for being you, for the conversations, for the random moments, for everything you probably don't even realize matters. i mean it, even if this entire website is basically me putting way too many words on a pink background because apparently that's how we're communicating emotions now.